A Piece of Kake

I just saw Slumdog Millionare for the second time and was struck by a scene that perfectly depicts how love ethics works. When Jamal finds the grown-up Latika, married to a selfish, chauvinistic man who obviously doesn’t cherish her, he tries to convince Latika to run away with him. But she’s too scared. She’s an orphan who was forced to beg by a cruel overlord who sold her into this marriage. But at least now she’s relatively safe, living in a mansion with servants and some semblance of security. Certainly she can survive her husband rude and angry behavior if she is at least clean, clothed, and fed.

Like Latika, we feel safe in our sin. Whether it’s the decision to start a relationship with Christ or to take a new step of faith in walking with Him, the old way seems so much safer. It’s difficult to leave our pet sins, and even harder to leave the world of familiarity in order to follow Christ for the first time. Being rescued from slavery sounds nice, but will it really happen? And what awaits us on the other side of freedom?

Jamal longs to redeem Latika so he confides, “I love you.” But such effusions bear little relevance to her situation so she coldly responds, “So what?” She is hardened by the world enough to know romantic love alone cannot save her. But then Jamal demonstrates a different type of love when he promises, “I’ll wait for you at the train station every day at five, until you come.” He is expressing sacrificial love.

Jamal tells Latika what he will do, and how he hopes she will respond. But his act of sacrifice and hope does not depend on her actions. He will love her by waiting for her everyday whether or not she comes. He’s really saying, I will be there for you, no matter what you do.

Jamal’s sacrifice is no doubt mixed with his own interest in the beautiful Latika, and his power to save her is nearly non-existent. Yet his demonstration of love is similar to Jesus, who in essence says, “Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to die on the cross for your sins. I’m going to offer you this free gift of forgiveness, a relationship, and eternal life. And all you have to do is ask for it.” He died for all everyone’s sin, knowing that most people would not accept His grace. But that didn’t change His decision to sacrifice for us.

So often I am too afraid to speak the truth to someone, or too selfish to love someone when it costs too much. I’m afraid of what the other person will do, or that they won’t do anything at all. But sometimes I’ve chosen to take the approach of Jesus and Jamal by letting someone know, either explicitly or through my actions, “I love you, and here’s how I’m going to show that. Here’s how I’m going to sacrifice for you.” Maybe it’s as simple as, “I’ll call you again next week.” Sometimes it’s setting boundaries: “I will hang up the phone if you continue this inappropriate behavior.” Other times it’s just being there, or bringing up difficult topics by speaking the truth in love.

This is what 1 Corinthians 13 means when it says “love never fails.” It means love always wins. Victory isn’t getting someone else to do what you want. Winning occurs when we learn to love another, regardless of the person’s response. And so often God uses our acts of love to bring redemption in another person’s life. But that depends in part on the person’s free will, which is why Romans 13:10 says, “As far as it is up to you, be at peace with all people.” When we are willing to let God mold our hearts, we will experience the victory and power of real love.

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