A Piece of Kake

How was 2009? It was just fine. Compared to last year it was fairly un-dramatic for me, in a good way.

But of course serving the Lord never lacks excitement. It was the year of The Article, the year we learned that persecution actually grows a church. It was the year we moved to the Michaleks. The year of the gum grafts, so everyone got to see how anxious and obsessive I am. The year Neil took Perspectives—always a dangerous move. And the year we took our second stab at buying a house, but couldn’t.

Probably the biggest change for me was moving to the Michaleks. It was such a great decision, I can’t believe it took us so long to make the move! So thank you Dar for suggesting it, and Mark and Diana for having us! I would definitely recommend “married ministry houses” to anyone with the space. Or even if you don’t quite have the space, which is probably how the Michaleks feel, squished into the top story of their house with a baby—no, a toddler! It’s probably how my spaghetti feels, too.

Living with others revealed my sin, as I expected. Diana indicated she felt like I judge her. I wanted to ask, “Why do you feel judged by me?” But I caught myself as I realized the answer: because I was judging her! As much as I loved living with her, I couldn’t help thinking she was doing everything all wrong. It was stupid stuff, and I had to learn how to let it go and realize there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Apologizing to her and talking about it brought us closer, though. I’m not judgment-free, but it always helps to recognize it and remember how sinful and irrational I am, and how God graciously saved me from worse judgment than I know.

What I really love about living there is getting to hang out with Diana so much. For the most part we get a running commentary on each other’s lives, and I love it! Whenever we get back from a meeting or just hanging out with someone, we can share what happened. We always mourned that we didn’t get to live in a ministry house together but now we had this awesome opportunity. It’s also fun on the rare occasion that all four of us are home and get to talk. Now I’m glad our last house deal fell through. Seven-tenths of a mile is close, but eight doors down will be way better!

This year also taught me to let indigenous leaders lead their church. I should’ve caught the idea after stepping aside in the Michalek home church a year and a half ago, to their great success. But I must be a slow learner, as I was still micro-managing Word like we did back when they were in junior high. A word of advice: when the students start complaining about activities, it’s time to let them take over. We also allowed only a select handful of “experienced” students teach home church, and a swarm of a dozen adults hovered over their meetings.

With the help of Lina, Keith, Rolland Allen, and the students we slowly realized it was truly the students’ ministry. It never was ours and never would be. Still, it took a minute for the implications of our revelation to penetrate. We made a few attempts at delegation and succeeded in bringing on more students leaders, but we finally got it when the students decided to have home church every week, plan their own activities, and decrease the number of adults per meeting.

Next thing we knew, the home church was seeing forty or more students each week. We decided to split, at least for a while. Roland Allen says, “The wind blows where it will” (wind = Holy Spirit as per John 3). We never know where he’s going to take us next. No matter what home church you’re in, one of the best lessons you can learn is that it’s never really your ministry. It’s the Lord’s. We refer to it in first person possessive for simplicity’s sake, and that’s fine. But it’s never really ours to control, ours to grow, or ours to take our identity from. So think about where the Wind is blowing and how you can cooperate, and give others the chance to participate, too.

In related news, Neil took Perspectives class this year and we went to The Journey Deepens missions retreat. We didn’t conclude much, but I did learn a lot about my fleshly willpower. Keith confronted me about it (while I was trying to have an infantile argument with him). I always sort of thought my strong will was sort of a good thing (although I knew some drawbacks). I knew if I was accomplishing things because of my will and not God’s power, it was worth nothing, but I don’t think I really believed it. That I can function through tasks and get ‘er done isn’t actually a strength if I’m not relying on the Lord, because “when I am weak, then I am strong.” So my will needs to break, is what I really learned from our missions inquiry. We’re still on our “journey” to discern God’s role for us in missions, but we’re not charging ahead at breakneck speed anymore, and I’m content.

Additional Information

I just saw Slumdog Millionare for the second time and was struck by a scene that perfectly depicts how love ethics works. When Jamal finds the grown-up Latika, married to a selfish, chauvinistic man who obviously doesn’t cherish her, he tries to convince Latika to run away with him. But she’s too scared. She’s an orphan who was forced to beg by a cruel overlord who sold her into this marriage. But at least now she’s relatively safe, living in a mansion with servants and some semblance of security. Certainly she can survive her husband rude and angry behavior if she is at least clean, clothed, and fed.

Like Latika, we feel safe in our sin. Whether it’s the decision to start a relationship with Christ or to take a new step of faith in walking with Him, the old way seems so much safer. It’s difficult to leave our pet sins, and even harder to leave the world of familiarity in order to follow Christ for the first time. Being rescued from slavery sounds nice, but will it really happen? And what awaits us on the other side of freedom?

Jamal longs to redeem Latika so he confides, “I love you.” But such effusions bear little relevance to her situation so she coldly responds, “So what?” She is hardened by the world enough to know romantic love alone cannot save her. But then Jamal demonstrates a different type of love when he promises, “I’ll wait for you at the train station every day at five, until you come.” He is expressing sacrificial love.

Jamal tells Latika what he will do, and how he hopes she will respond. But his act of sacrifice and hope does not depend on her actions. He will love her by waiting for her everyday whether or not she comes. He’s really saying, I will be there for you, no matter what you do.

Jamal’s sacrifice is no doubt mixed with his own interest in the beautiful Latika, and his power to save her is nearly non-existent. Yet his demonstration of love is similar to Jesus, who in essence says, “Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to die on the cross for your sins. I’m going to offer you this free gift of forgiveness, a relationship, and eternal life. And all you have to do is ask for it.” He died for all everyone’s sin, knowing that most people would not accept His grace. But that didn’t change His decision to sacrifice for us.

So often I am too afraid to speak the truth to someone, or too selfish to love someone when it costs too much. I’m afraid of what the other person will do, or that they won’t do anything at all. But sometimes I’ve chosen to take the approach of Jesus and Jamal by letting someone know, either explicitly or through my actions, “I love you, and here’s how I’m going to show that. Here’s how I’m going to sacrifice for you.” Maybe it’s as simple as, “I’ll call you again next week.” Sometimes it’s setting boundaries: “I will hang up the phone if you continue this inappropriate behavior.” Other times it’s just being there, or bringing up difficult topics by speaking the truth in love.

This is what 1 Corinthians 13 means when it says “love never fails.” It means love always wins. Victory isn’t getting someone else to do what you want. Winning occurs when we learn to love another, regardless of the person’s response. And so often God uses our acts of love to bring redemption in another person’s life. But that depends in part on the person’s free will, which is why Romans 13:10 says, “As far as it is up to you, be at peace with all people.” When we are willing to let God mold our hearts, we will experience the victory and power of real love.

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Some books make you angry. Others make you drowsy. Why We Love the Church manages to do both, often simultaneously. I should’ve predicted both reactions from the subtitle, which prompted me to read the book: “In Praise of Institution and Organized Religion.” It’s baffling that anyone would defend institutional Christianity and organized religion, and I certainly wasn’t convinced.

Co-authors Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck , pastor and “member” of University Reformed Church in Michigan, respectively, denounce “revolutionaries” in favor of the “traditional and old.” Their sad attempt at humorous, conversational writing adds to the irritation of their thesis that we should persist in the old, humdrum way of doing church. They dismiss the statistics showing Americans’ mass exodus from church, only to argue a page later such an exodus isn’t a bad sign since Jesus said “small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” And they assert there’s no New Testament command or emphasis (?!) to grow. Their argument from silence for the former is no more convincing than their misinterpretation of the New Testament for the latter. If growth isn’t emphasized or at least valued, why does Luke repeatedly record the number of believers being added in Acts? Why does Paul praise the churches (the Thessalonians, for example) for spreading the gospel? But in keeping with their Reformed theology they eliminate any concern for growth with the statement, “no one can change the number of God’s elect.”

The authors are committed to the gospel and its love ethic, but they don’t see this as revolutionary because they’re enamored with tradition. Consequently they cannot conceive of church without a worship service, or a meeting without professional teaching. Ultimately this leads to a consumerist approach to church. Kluck writes:

“I’m also glad that my church is ‘organized.’ I’m glad I know where to put my toddler on Sunday morning. I’m glad somebody was institutional enough to think through topics for a Sunday school class or two. I’m glad my pastor, rather than just freewheeling it, cares enough to study Scripture and a bookshelf full of dead authors to give me real spiritual food each Sunday….I’m glad somebody (not me) makes sure the kids are learning something biblical in their classes. It is, at its most basic, organized religion. And I love it.”

I’m glad he’s grateful for the ways his church is serving him, but this selfish argument for “organized religion” doesn’t pull any biblical weight. The fact that I like eating ice cream doesn’t make it good for me. Bruxy Cavey addresses this point well in The End of Religion when he writes, “The problem with organized religion isn’t that it’s organized. It’s that it’s religion.” Amen!

It seems the authors wrote this book to refute emergents who are leaving church in favor of frequenting Starbucks and soup kitchens. This (other) selfish view of church needs to be challenged, and the authors are right that believers need to commit to serving in a local body instead of just whining and leaving. But Why We Love the Church has no alternative to help disenchanted people love the church. The authors refer in passing to an array of nauseating fundamentalist practices, from to infant baptism to the “turn and greet your neighbor” ritual, to clone-like greeters and open mic nights, to the have-six-children-and-home-school consensus of the congregation. They don’t directly endorse all of this, but it’s the snapshot they provide of their beloved church. But how many cynical millenials from broken homes could love such a church?

What the authors fail to see is an option somewhere between leaving church to just golf, and the traditional, unbiblical, outdated worship service of institutional Christianity. Just as Viola, in Pagan Christianity, could only come up with completely unstructured meetings devoid of any teaching, these authors land on the extreme opposite end of the “doing church” continuum. Is there no alternative?

There is, and I think we’ve found it. How about a large meeting with high-quality teaching, discussion, prayer, and fellowship? Then add smaller home groups, also with teaching, sharing, and prayer, plus opportunities for tighter community? And then smaller gender-specific Bible studies where discipleship and intimate relationships are built? But if the authors of the book saw the Xenos model they’d ask, “Where’s the music? Where’s the communion? Where’s the nursery?” They predict that home churches will be the next hot trend in Christianity (old news) but argue for a larger worship service where people can be entertained by clergy teaching and bored by bad singing. In fact, the authors can’t imagine how a church would work without a clergy-laity model.

This two-hundred page book has little real content. The type is double-spaced and the chapters alternate between “theological” pieces by the pastor and “personal” pieces by the sports writer. Ideas are supported by a proof-text or two, or the biblical support is cited but not explained. If it were, readers might see the importance of church as a local Body of Christ which doesn’t consist of worship services in a steepled building. Their support is much more historical than biblical, but history can’t tell us what the church is. They demean those who seek to model the early church by worshipping in houses, arguing that it was done only out of necessity. (But it worked!) And they see Constantine’s politicization of Christianity as helpful.

Speaking of history, the pastor actually defend the Crusades. Go ahead, let your mouth fall open. I, too, am still shocked he even goes there. His rationale is based on the idea of Christendom, or a Christian-political earthly kingdom. He says since Muslims took over Christian lands, the Christians had to go reclaim them for God. If Muslims stormed Washington, he reasons, wouldn’t we go defend our nation’s capitol? Wait, what? That analogy is not analogous at all. A national defense/political issue does not parallel a religious war where atrocities were committed in the name of Christ.

So that’s why I hate Why We Love the Church. I appreciate their argument against the uncommitted emergent church-leavers. But in the end they have nothing better or biblical to offer, and often end up sounding whiny, proud, and selfish themselves. I think they mean well, so I hope they come to their senses and join the revolution. Until then, check out Cavey’s End of Religion which is the polar opposite of Why We Love the Church, from its revolutionary subtitle “Encountering the Subversive Spirituality of Jesus” and message, to its quality writing and biblical content, to its humble tone.

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Love: how can we understand it? Let alone live it? It is the greatest commandment, the summary of the Law, the New Testament ethic, and the measure of a Christian’s maturity. Just when I thought I was getting my minds around love ethics, we started studying worship. But when it comes to worship, what’s love got to do with it?

Worship results in Zeal, which leads to Significance, which equals Victorious Love. (With joy as essential to worship.)

Revelations 5:9-14 is the perfect picture of worship: “Worthy is the lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!” (v. 12). The heavenly beings in this passage as gushing about God’s greatness, because they’ve experienced it first-hand. We also personally know God’s glory through love relationship.

When we worship God we recognize and respond to God’s zealous love for us. Zeal is essential to understanding love, and it goes beyond the normal “love is a choice” formulation. God didn’t grit His teeth when He decided to love us, as we often do when we obediently and mechanically “serve” others without zeal. Rather, God went out of His way and stopped at nothing to redeem and reach us, so that we might experience His love in a personal, intimate way.

As a result, we can joyfully give our hearts to Him in gratitude and awe, seeking an ever-deepening love relationship with Him. When our heart worships God, rather than submitting out of sheer obedience, we experience joy as we delight in knowing God, His salvation, and His lavish provisions. Zeal is the natural outgrowth of joy: as we rejoice in God’s zealous love for us, He gives us the desire and zeal to love others. This is what it means that “We love, because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

Zeal is how we gain significance in people’s lives because it results in victorious love output. When I get functional and just go through the motions with people, even if I’ve thought about “what is best for them,” I don’t have zeal. And then I’m not loving victoriously, but half-heartedly or worse. Zeal isn’t about drumming up a bunch of sanguine excitement and warm fuzzies toward people. Rather, it means fighting for people’s good out of a heart-felt, God-given desire to love others. Zealous love is determined passion, and it will seek God’s will through prayer, the Word, godly counsel, and spiritual training so that we can love victoriously. When we have zeal for people we will become significant to them, and to be significant is to love and feel loved.

There are so many good verses about zeal, and I particularly like 2 Corinthians as a study of zealous love, which Paul expresses for the Corinthian believers. Perhaps it’s a little easier to get my mind around Paul’s zeal, although it’s invaluable to reflect on God’s zeal for us, especially as demonstrated through Christ’s ministry.

Paul refers to his first letter to the Corinthians, which included some much-needed rebuke, in 2 Cor. 2:4: “For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.” Zeal includes the willingness to offend others when necessary for their good, but always “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), just as Paul did here. He wasn’t malicious or self-righteous about confronting them. He was emotional about writing words he knew would grieve them, but he hoped they would see it as the mark of his zealous love.

Zealous love is expressed in both actions and words. Sometimes we need to affirm our love for people, as Paul does in 2 Cor. 11:11: “Why? Because I do not love you? God knows I do!” He is zealous for them to know that He loves them. When we put so much emotional and sacrificial effort into loving people, we want them to feel loved. But so often I avoid emotional statements about how significant a relationship is and how much I love someone because I’m afraid to be vulnerable.
Our actions demonstrate zeal when we sacrifice substantially for others and thus become significant to them. “For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God” (2 Cor. 4:15). Zeal means living for the people you love, rather than for yourself. Paul lived for the sake of the churches and lost people. He was zealous to bring more people to worship and thank God for His grace. And it took an offering of his whole being. He was willing to suffer anything for their good; no cost was too high. That’s real zeal.

The all-consuming nature of zeal is described again in 2 Cor. 5:13-15: “For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are of sound mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.” He is overcome by God’s love and consumed by the zeal that results from worship. He gives up control to become a bond-servant, willing to live for others, acting either sane or insane, whatever love requires.

We see again the sacrificial nature of zeal in 2 Cor. 12:15: “I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?” Zeal will lead us to a level of sacrifice only limited by what is beneficial for the other person. And this offering of self is joyful, as Paul says he is glad to do it. He’s willing to sacrifice for them even if they resent it. People don’t always understand our zeal for them and may not respond as we hoped, but victory lies not in their reaction, but our active love for them.

Then he gets even more personal in a beautiful, heart-wrenching verse, 2 Cor. 7:3, 4: “I do not speak to condemn you, for I have said before that you are in our hearts to die together and to live together. Great is my confidence in you; great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort; I am overflowing with joy in all our affliction.” Zeal produces an overwhelming sense of unity, emotional bonding, and spiritual significance. It is the eternal heart-connection of brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s like the parent-child relationship he uses to illustrate his zeal for the Thessalonians (1 Thess. 2:7, 11). He gains so much joy and comfort and pride from the Corinthians’ victories because he is significant to them, and as a result of his zeal they are learning to be significant to others.

I experienced this idea of someone being in my heart when Jen and Yana left our fellowship and friendships. Zealous love opens the opportunity for profound hurt because once someone is in our hearts to live and die together, an external severing of the bond is so painful. I feel like a part of my heart was ripped out with them leaving, and yet at the same time they are still in my heart. I was significant to them and their leaving doesn’t change that. But we shouldn’t need a tragedy to feel the eternal, intimate bond we have with our friends. There are so many more people who are forever united with me
through the bond of Christian love relationships.

And there is an opportunity for great joy in such friendships. We rejoice when those we are zealous for gain their own zeal and significance, as in 2 Cor. 7:7: “and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you, as he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me; so that I rejoiced even more.” Such an outcome produces joy upon joy. And as a disciple’s character grows, so does their worship and thus their zeal. 2 Cor. 7:11, 12 says, “For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the offender nor for the sake of the one offended, but that your earnestness on our behalf might be made known to you in the sight of God.” Paul’s zeal for the Corinthians led to their repentance and righteous handling of wrong, and this led their hearts to deeper worship of God.

Here is what we all hope for our disciples: 2 Cor. 7:16: “I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you.” But do we work zealously toward this goal of victorious love output? Can we say, as Paul did in 2 Cor. 11:2, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin”? God is jealous of us because we are rightfully His! He has substantially sacrificed for us; He is unquestionably significant to us. And when we lead someone to worship God, we betroth them to Christ as part of His church. Like parents betrothing their child, we should be jealous and zealous (both from Greek zelo, to burn with passion), to present our spiritual offspring as a pure virgin to Christ.

When we zealously love a disciple or someone else, their welfare becomes more important than ours (Philippians 2:3, 4). “For we rejoice when we ourselves are weak but you are strong; this we also pray for, that you be made complete” (2 Cor. 13:9). Zeal takes a high emotional toll on us; it is simultaneously wearying and energizing to love victoriously. We may feel weak as a result of sacrifice or sin, but we still rejoice and worship God, motivated by the spiritual power growing in our disciples. This leads us to pray earnestly that God will mature and “complete” them as a result of their worship.

There are so many more verses about zeal, but one I especially like is 1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” The zeal I’ve just described from 2 Corinthians is a goal to strive for as we worship God and let Him transform our hearts. I fall so far short of zealous sacrificial love, and yet by God’s grace I’m still building significance in people’s lives. God is most interested in our heart attitude of zeal for others. Our sin will always get in the way of perfect execution. But this verse is a beautiful and reassuring promise that if we let God grow zealous love in our hearts, He can work around and through our sinful blunders. And that brings us back to one more reason to worship and rejoice in Him.

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…so Neil renamed “The Journey Deepens” retreat that took us to Philadelphia last weekend along with the Michaleks, Plahutas, and Leons. Indeed, “The Plot Thickens” is a good description of what transpired in the 1880s countryside manor where we stayed. Hosted by World Evangelization for Christ’s U.S. Headquarters, the retreat is designed to help people discover their role in cross-cultural work and determine the next steps in their missions journey.

WEC Center

How did our journey there begin? Neil and I had been mulling over whether Urbana, a missions conference geared for college students, was worth one week and over $2000 in registration fees, travel, and lodging. Then “The Journey Deepens” caught my eye in a Missions Catalyst email. Philly wasn’t too far away so I perused the retreat web site. The description, structure, and price were all right. The small groups with missions coaches sounded best of all. Before I mentioned it to Neil that day, I got another email about it, this time from OMF. I’ve never received an email from OMF unless I contacted them first. But it was a notice about the retreat. We decided to sign up and started trying to recruit the Michaleks.

The next morning our decision was confirmed when Holly McCallum also emailed me about the conference. Soon enough the Michaleks, Plahutas, and Leons were all signed up, too. I started praying that the retreat would prove worthwhile, that we’d get some clarification and answers to questions. God answered my prayers far beyond what I’d imagined!

My two main questions were: 1. Should we go to Thailand with Aor or through a missions agency’s short-term trip? and 2. If/when/how should I pursue some type of ESL training? Of course we also wondered “Should we go?” but that seemed too big a question to be answered in one weekend, and I was right.

Unreached People Groups

So here’s how God answered my questions through this retreat. Two days before we left, Aor left me a message while I was swimming. She said she had to return to Thailand suddenly because her mother was having surgery. This is significant because we were considering going to Thailand with her when she returned to visit family for several weeks in December. But now that she went on short notice in June, how would she have the money to go again in December? We would probably have to wait another year or more and we wanted to take a trip sooner to gage our interest in the culture.

The reason we wanted to go with her was so we could see the culture first-hand, through the eyes of a national. But we also wanted to hook up with at least one missionary or missions agency while there. We didn’t want to spend more money on an expensive short-term trip and be able to serve in a small way, without getting to see much of the country or the people. But the missionaries at the retreat recommended going on a short-term “vision” trip, rather than a service missions trip. They said it’s possible to visit a number of missionaries and ministries throughout the country, as well as to visit a language training center. This is supposedly the best way to get a feel for if you’d like to consider long-term work in that culture.

Regarding ESL, I was told it’s always a useful training for cross-cultural work, and the endorsement to my teaching license was probably the best way to go. But one missionary raised a good point: it might be better to go on the “vision” trip first, see what kind of work we’re interested in doing, and then decide if/what type of training to get. I’m glad I heard this because I don’t want to spent $6000 or more on courses that won’t be helpful to me. In the mean time I can take a certificate course at Hudson Community Chapel for $50-100 and get the basics.

The eight Xenoids were together in the small group which was nice because we didn’t have to go over our backgrounds to understand each other, and we didn’t have to listen to people’s weird theologies or corny platitudes. One of our coaches reaches out to Chinese students at American universities, as well as leading short-term English-teaching trips to China. His organization, Chinese Outreach Ministry, will be a valuable contact for Craig and Jackie’s International Student Bible Study. They even have a branch of their ministry at Kent State. Our other coach spent 35 years translating the Bible in the Philippines and now recruits for Wycliffe.

Our small group

The coaches offered useful practical advice and shared great personal experiences (once the translator’s husband was kidnapped by an Al Queda-trained group!), but I was longing to talk with a church-planter. Jackie found one (I think she met everyone there) and I enjoyed listening to her stories but they didn’t answer any of my questions. And she wasn’t there as a missions coach; she was living at WEC before departing to Spain in a month.

Next on the schedule was a missionary forum to answer our questions. The first panelist introduced himself as Steve Niphakis, church-planter in Thailand for eleven years, Thai language and cultural training director for six years, and now a recruiter for OMF. His answers during the panel were very helpful and Neil and I approached him immediately after to schedule an appointment during our afternoon break.

He gave us almost two hours and unloaded all sorts of useful, detailed information with impeccable cheerfulness. Maybe that’s what seventeen years in the “Land of Smiles” does to you. He was exactly what we’d prayed to find at this conference: successful church-planting experience in Thailand, highly knowledgeable about language and cultural acquisition, and working for an agency to help get people on the field. Even better, we were already interested in OMF because of the Gibsons and Hudson Taylor.

Neil, Steve, and Mark

And best of all, he said he would be happy to mentor us through the process of becoming missionaries if that’s the route we want to take. He offered to meet us at our home or his (in PA) to figure out what type of training and preparation we need. And he’s even willing to meet with people in our fellowship if they have questions or want help becoming a sending church.

He also said some interesting things during the panel about his love-hate relationship with the American church. And in answers to Neil’s question about choosing a field and agency, he said “Your team is more important than your field. You can play on a lot of different fields if you’re on a good team, but if you’re team isn’t right, it doesn’t matter what field you’re playing on, you can’t win.” This analogy to sports was actually helpful and describes how I feel. I’m interested in Thailand but I’d be happy to serve in other places as well. But if we become missionaries, we want the agency to have the same values and ideas about ministry, their vision, doctrine, etc.

OMF’s mission seems to match our own: they’re into establishing indigenous church-planting movements where the churches are reproducing within their country and sending to others nations, especially places closed to whites. Many OMF missionaries are doing pioneer work in unreached areas, and the existing Thai churches are very community-oriented.

OMF is praying for 100 new workers to Thailand. Now I can see why. Steve thinks Thailand is on the verge of exponential growth. The recent political unrest has left Thai people, especially youth, looking for a change. The country is politically open and missionary visas are available. Churches are being planted and Thai people are interested in Americans and therefore willing to make friendships with them.

Steve recommended applying to agencies early because it can take four years to even begin language training. If you apply early, he said, the agency can help you determine the preparation and training you need. So we need to think and pray seriously about whether we want to take the step of applying. We came away from this retreat with some “next steps”: stay in touch with Steve about developing an action plan and think about planning a “vision trip” to Thailand. At the same time he is encouraging us to talk to our “pastor” about this direction and make sure we’re on the same page with OMF as far as theology, ethos, methods, etc. before we go any further.

All the missionaries strongly recommended developing a strong support group who will pray for us as “the plot thickens.” We’re blessed to have such a close fellowship of believers who are interested in what we’re doing. But if you read this and want to commit to praying for us regularly, please let me know and I’ll keep you updated about our deepening journey.

Additional Information

We all love the Internet, we all have the Internet, and most of us are paying for the Internet. Here’s how the Internet can save you money.

If you can “borrow” Internet from a neighbor who failed to secure their network, do it. It isn’t illegal or unethical as long as you don’t access their personal information. If an individual chooses not to secure their network, they’re sharing, so enjoy. If you can’t borrow, figure out if you can split with a neighbor. Internet service is expensive, but if you have a neighbor you trust and are able to pick up a wireless signal then why not split the cost?

The internet can save you lots of money on consumer goods. For example, the Cuyahoga Falls library has a database of movie titles you can download for free. And of course there are many free mp3s and podcasts of music, news, Bible teachings, radio programs, and much more. Keep up on pop culture without paying for cable by watching television shows and music videos on YouTube and other such sites.

The Internet is also good for “shopping around” without wasting gas money and time. Instead you can check stores’ web sites to price and compare an item you need. I do this before buying anything out of the ordinary, such as a gift or new appliance. The disadvantage is that usually stores that sell close-outs don’t have their inventory on-line. (That would be nearly impossible.) But if you’re planning to buy an item in a regular retail store comparing prices on-line is fast and free. I often compare prices at Walmart, Target, Kohls, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond online before making a purchase.

Another great way the Internet can save you money is through money-saving blogs, web sites, coupons, and emails. Check out the following sites:

Savebenjis.com: use this iphone app at the store or your home computer to read product reviews and find the best current price for a particular item. It will tell you the going rates at amazon, ebay, and many other sites and stores.
Slickdeals.net: every day this web site lists great deals, often available for purchase on the Internet. Some typical items include clothing, household items, and restaurant dining.
Woot.com: “One day, one deal” is their slogan. Sign up for their daily email, which sends one hot deal a day, from electronics to fast food, and everything in between.
Dealnews.com: features several great deals every day, from laptops to apparel. Includes items for purchase, sometimes with free shipping.
Craigslist.com: search your local area and use savebenjis.com to compare prices. Keep your eyes open for scams, and never meet someone alone in their home. Either take a friend or meet in a public place. Not only can find great deals on this site, but you avoid shipping costs by purchasing locally and picking up the item.
Ebay.com: a great place to buy and sell, but only if you know the going rate. Make sure you’re getting a better deal than retail or Craigslist, don’t bid above that, and remember to factor in shipping costs. Keep in mind that it can be hard to compete with snipers, who can use software to automatically re-bid every second!
Amazon.com: if you’re going to spend over $25 on new products, you get automatic free shipping. This is a great place if you want to buy gifts or otherwise don’t want used items. Their prices on new items are usually far cheaper than chain retail stores like Borders and Barnes and Noble. And their used collection isn’t bad, but the prices rarely beat half.com.
Half.com: the best place to buy used books, whether you’re looking for college textbooks, light reading, or anything in between. Standard shipping is $3.99, but it’s still usually a better deal than anywhere else.
Entertainment.com: if you don’t want to buy the book, sign up for a free trial and choose free printable coupons for your area.
BetterWorld.com: shop more than two million new and used books at bargain prices. Their prices may not beat half.com, but shipping is free within the U.S. So do the math and find the best deal. Plus they donate a portion of their revenues to literacy causes.
RetailMeNot.com: search this web site to find “secret” coupon codes for online shopping. This site includes customer reviews about which coupons actually work, and under what conditions.
DSIREUsa.org: Some states or localities will offer a discount on energy-efficient appliance purchases. Check here to find out if you can save money on your next appliance. Discounts organized by state.
Gutenberg.org offers 2,000 classic titles for free download.
PlasticJungle.com: buy and sell unwanted gift cards on this web site for an average discount of 15%. The site verifies the balances to make sure buyers don’t get ripped off.

Additional Information

I’ve never been much of a prayer warrior. I find it virtually impossible to concentrate during silent, prolonged prayer, and by prolonged I mean more than two minutes. My attempts often sound something like this: “God, thank you for Your grace….I wonder what I should make for dinner…” Such prayers are far from Paul’s exhortations to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). In reality I’m more likely to cease without praying.

With my involvement in ministry there was no way I could survive spiritually on lightning-speed prayers alone. If Jesus spent long periods talking with the Father (Luke 5:16), surely I need to do the same. Over time my desperate need to pray increased, yet I still felt defeated in this most foundational area of my relationship with God.

I explored other forms of prayer to compensate for my weakness. Praying aloud with others helped me focus on what I was saying to God. But corporate prayer is meant to supplement one-on-one time with God and it didn’t solve the problem when I was alone. So I tried praying aloud on my own, but still found myself trailing off as my mind wandered. Prayer lists also held limited effectiveness because my distractibility kept my praises and requests superficial. Though I was disciplined in many other areas, my prayer life continually frustrated and baffled me.

So I prayed about prayer: “God, please teach me to pray.” This short request was all I was capable of, but God answered. He showed me how to use one of my strengths to compensate for my shortcomings in prayer. I’ve always enjoyed writing; in fact, I express myself best this way. “So why not converse with Me through written language?” God subtly suggested. Once He revealed this idea I started a prayer journal, where once a day I write out my prayers word-for-word.

God knew I would be distractible when it came to prayer and He graciously provided a way for me to communicate. But even if prayer isn’t particularly difficult for you or writing isn’t your gift, a prayer journal can benefit your relationship with God. Educators agree that writing clarifies thinking—often people don’t know exactly what they think about a topic until they write about it. So writing about our gratitude, emotions, requests, and questions to God can help us see His insights about ourselves, His character, and His will. For example, it wasn’t until I saw my thoughts about trying harder and doing better in black and white that I realized I wasn’t really trusting God to transform my character.

If you’d like to try writing in a prayer journal then consider the following suggestions. There’s no one right way to write to God, but these ideas can help you get started.

1. Choose your medium. After a few days of writing my prayers on paper, I knew this method could work for me. I was expressing myself more clearly and fully to God and my mind didn’t wander much at all. But the medium wasn’t ideal. I had so much to talk to God about but my hand cramped as it tried to keep up with my thoughts. So I switched to typing in a word-processing program, which allowed me to pour out my heart to God before I forgot what I wanted to say. If you try a prayer journal, choose the form which makes it easiest for you to commune with your Creator.

2. Start each entry with gratitude for God. Ephesians 5:20 says we should be “always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” A prayer journal is a good place to foster such a grateful attitude by reflecting on God’s goodness. My gratitude grows as I spend time each day thanking God for who He is, what He’s done throughout history, and/or what He’s currently doing in my life and ministry. In your prayer journal you might consider praying through a Psalm of thanksgiving, reflecting on one of God’s attributes, or listing ways His grace is evident in your life.

3. Intercede with interaction. Using my prayer journal transformed my intercessory prayer into a dynamic interaction with God. In the past I might’ve prayed, “God, please lead Jane into a saving relationship with You.” The content of the prayer was biblical but I wasn’t listening for godly wisdom and discernment. Now I would add to the request above, “Please show me how You want to use me to help Jane know You.” Often God shows me specific steps such as broaching the topic of eternity with Jane, asking a more mature Christian for advice about the situation, or reading a relevant passage of Scripture.

Philippians 4:6 offers pointers regarding intercessory prayer: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Prayer should be our antidote to worry because we can trust God. Relying on God is a challenge for me as I’m a nasty combination of control-freak and worrywart. But when I’m anxious I can pray through a situation and express my dependence on God, affirming my desire to do His will and my belief in His trustworthiness.

This verse also says we should express gratitude as we petition God, meaning our thanksgiving doesn’t stop after the first paragraph in an entry. For example, when praying about a conflict I might thank God for His forgiveness, which is my basis for forgiving others and thus resolving arguments.

Through the more detailed intercession my prayer journal made possible, I’m able to spell out my thoughts and feelings about a situation to God, and then ask questions, write down possible answers, and wait for His wisdom. I encourage you to try the same in your prayer journal. Feel free to brainstorm ideas and ask God which are from Him. Try to determine whether your entry reflects what you know of God’s will.

4. Organize your prayer requests. Even with the speed of typing I still found it difficult to present my requests to God without my prayer journal resembling a to-do list. I didn’t want to approach God as if He was Santa Claus, just there to give me the items on my wish list. At the same time I longed to lift up many people’s needs to him. So I wrote a list and assigned different topics to different days of the week. Afterward my daily prayer list contained about four topics, which gave me room to add more as they arose. You can organize your prayer requests however you want: by urgency, importance, frequency, or another method. Just remember to approach writing in your journal as a relational time with God. Don’t pressure yourself to make it through a catalog of requests, especially when a different concern is weighing on your heart.

5. Review older entries. Rereading old journal entries is an encouraging way to see how God answers prayer. Remembering what God has done cultivates gratitude and reminds us of prayer’s role in God accomplishing His will. Sometimes our prayers aren’t answered, or not as we hoped. God can give us wisdom as we reflect on unanswered prayer. Perhaps we weren’t persistent in prayer, the request went against God’s will, or a person’s free choice prevented it from happening. As you mourn a petition not granted, allow God to comfort you and help you understand His wisdom.

One of the unexpected benefits I experienced from typing my prayer journal was the search function of my text editor. If I want to know what I prayed about Jane’s salvation I can find every instance of the word “Jane” and review what I wrote. This is another opportunity to remember how God led me. Sometimes I remember old insights or convictions which move me to take a different approach with a person or situation. For example, after my friend struggled spiritually for months, I wasn’t sure how else to help her. So I looked back on old entries and noticed a pattern: her priorities were all mixed up. Instead of continuing to address the problem one case at a time, I was able to present the big picture which God showed me.

As writing offered me a newfound ability to focus on talking with God, I established a deeper prayer life than I ever experienced before. I still struggle to continue the day with an attitude of prayer after closing my journal, but it’s helped my prayer life grow immeasurably. I’m learning to depend on God more by praying about difficult situations. My gratitude for Him is growing as I spend time in thanksgiving. As my thoughts become more concrete on paper I’m better able to pray within His will and I’m gaining discernment by asking questions and listening for answers. Starting a prayer journal revolutionized my spiritual life, and it can do the same for yours. There’s no one right way to pray, but I hope you’ll try the write way.

Additional Information

Be a fashion revolutionary, not a fashion icon! To do this, you must first forget the fashion falsehoods. Fashion sells the lie that you need new clothes every season, or even every year. This is not based in reality at all. I have clothes that have lasted since high school. Granted, they aren’t the most stylish (they weren’t back then, either). But if you buy quality basics, you should be able to wear them much longer than a season or even a year.

Fashion is really just another aspect of consumerism, but it’s particularly tempting as it’s so closely tied to identity, perhaps especially for females. In response to the air-brushed models and well-styled actresses flooding the media, we believe the lie that our looks determine our value. Soon we are slaves to our appearance. If we don’t have the right clothing, shoes, purse, jewelry, and make-up, we are unattractive and therefore worthless. If we say we don’t believe this, let’s live like it, too!

To fight the fashion myths, wait until your clothes are really worn out or don’t fit, and then shop at thrift stores, clearance racks, and sales. You don’t need to be in style or have your clothes fit like they’re tailored. At the same time, don’t buy clothes that are obviously cheaply made. For example, many of the mall stores with teeny-bopper-type clothes have cheap prices but the clothes fall apart in less than a year. Find stores that sell quality items for less, but always consider whether you could do better at the thrift or second-hand store.

All the same principles apply for shoes, pursues, and other accessories. Why do you need five purses? Just get something basic that will match many outfits and seasons. Don’t buy into the myth that you need shoes and accessories to perfectly match every outfit. Who cares if the shade or style is a little off? We’re revolutionaries, not fashion icons!

While the fashion industry is quite artificial since no one needs new clothes each season, fashion itself can be an art form that reflects the beauty of God’s creation and His creative image stamped in us. So I’m not saying it’s wrong to match, or wear flattering clothing, or buy a new dress once in a while. It is harmful, denigrating, and enslaving to take our identity from what we wear and frivolously spend on clothes when there are better ways to use our money.

So what is a revolutionary to do?

Recognize the difference between want and need. Maybe you’d like a new pair of shoes to match a particular outfit, but if you’re like me and already own a dozen pairs, you probably don’t need them. Most likely you own something suitable, if not entirely fashionable. Learn to let go of the idea that you have to look red-carpet ready to go the grocery store, or even to a wedding.

When you do need something, shop around for a good price. Depending on the item, consider trying a thrift store or second-hand shop first. Most Goodwill and Salvation Army stores have dressing rooms, which is a big advantage because it’s a waste of money to buy something only to find out it doesn’t fit. And most thrift stores have “deal” days, like the Cuyahoga Falls Salvation Army has fifty percent all items on Wednesday. The Village Discount Outlet has different tag colors fifty percent off every day, and on Mondays one tag color is only fifty cents. Of course thrift shopping always involves the luck of the draw and takes more time. If possible, try to go early to get the best deals.

At the mall, avoid stores where clothing is inexpensive but cheaply made. I find that Express and Limited brands hold up well. Most of the clothes I’ve had since high school (I graduated seven years ago), are from these stores. So if you go to the mall, head to the clearance racks at the back of the store. If you’re looking for something in particular, keep in mind that the cheapest items are those just going out of season. So think ahead and then shop ahead (or behind) as appropriate. Kohl’s often has very good clearance, although I don’t fit into their misses sizes, and I find their juniors items to be less well-made. There are bargains to be had, so don’t give up hope. For example, I didn’t pay more than $10 for any of the jeans I own, and I bought them new at the mall.

If you’re small, try buying socks and shoes from the children’s section. I’ve found good particularly good deals on tennis shoes (half the price of the same adult shoes).

Buy men’s dress-casual clothes new, on clearance racks or sales. Men tend to hang onto their clothes longer than women, meaning that the thrift store collection is often missing buttons and full of sweat stains, food stains, rips, and holes. There are occasional deals to be had on unworn items, but generally I don’t find it worth an hour to find one such item. I usually get Neil’s shirts and dress pants on sale or clearance at Kohl’s.

Another good strategy is to borrow and get hand-me-downs from people less cheap than you. Here’s a dirty little secret: the cheap people need the not-so-frugal people to save money. Without them there would be no thrift stores, no hand-me-downs worth handing down, and no one’s closet to raid. My sisters and I share clothes sometimes, although less frequently now that we live further apart, and I welcome hand-me-downs, especially from my fashion designer sister! Always remember to take good care of other people’s clothes if they’re on loan, though. One of my sisters ruined a most fabulous find of mine, a light blue silk blouse I got on clearance at Banana Republic for $5. In trying to return it to me clean, she put it through both the washer and dryer. So be careful with other people’s stuff!

Once you’ve got your new or new-to-you rags, take care of them! This will make them last much longer. The best way to extend a garment’s lifespan is not wash it too frequently. Of course you’ll wash your undergarments and exercise gear often. But with jeans and sweaters, the more expensive items, don’t wash every time you wear. Unless you’ve spilled something on them, there’s really no need to wash after one or two wears. I wash one pair of jeans per week unless I spill something on them. My sister designed denim for Express and she agrees with this advice.

I barely believe in dry-cleaning. I’ve taken Neil’s suit to be dry-cleaned once in the five years he’s owned it. And I took a wool coat once, with a coupon of course! That’s the extent of my dry-cleaning experience. Instead of spending money at the cleaners, I avoid buying dry-clean only clothes. My husband is less careful about this and has gifted me with a number of dry-clean only garments like wool sweaters. He even managed to find a pair of exercise pants that aren’t supposed to be machine washed. Can you think of anything more impractical?

So what is a frugal wife to do with such items? It’s what I call “home dry cleaning.” First, wash items only when needed, like if there’s a stain or it’ stinky or sweaty. Next, most items can be cleaned in a gentle, cold water cycle in a washing machine. Just don’t put the item in the dryer—I shrunk more than one sweater that way. If the item will lose shape, lay it flat to dry; otherwise hang it up right away.

If the no-machine-wash item is extremely delicate, such as with beadwork or silk, wash it by hand when necessary. Use lukewarm water and just a dab of laundry detergent. Scrub stained areas or the armpits by gently rubbing the fabric against itself. Then wring it out and hang or lay flat to dry.

One of the big advantages of dry-cleaning is that your clothes come back pressed and ready to wear. But there’s
a way to avoid both dry-cleaning and ironing. I buy wrinkle-resistant dress clothes for Neil, and generally stay away from clothes that requiring ironing for me. Wrinkle-resistant fabric is very common in men’s dress clothes so it usually doesn’t cost more, especially when you’re shopping clearance and sales. Really resisting wrinkles takes some diligence with the laundry, though. You can’t let the clothes sit in the drier after the cycle is finished. It actually works best to take them out while they’re still slightly wet, or immediately after they’ve dried. Hang them immediately, squarely on the hangers, in a way that does not smash the clothes into each other. Using this method I only iron about once every three weeks because Neil still has some shirts that aren’t wrinkle-resistant. Using the method above makes ironing easier for all types of fabric.

To make bras last longer I wash them in a bra ball, also called a lingerie bag. It’s a little mesh bag that zips open so you can put small delicate items inside. I purchased one at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for $4 with a coupon, which is much cheaper than buying a new bra.

Additional Information

I recently finished reading The Case for the Creator and I recommend it to anyone who hasn’t read it. Lee Strobel does a great job making the scientific evidence for God understandable and interesting. I’m a bit late for a book review since it was published five years ago, but I’ll recount my favorite parts.

Strobel dismantles the icons of evolution presented in high school biology books, the very same images and “information” that led him and many others into atheism. First was the Miller-Ulrey experiment, in which a container of gases was zapped with electricity and “poof!”—life appeared. Actually, the reproduced early atmosphere was inaccurate: instead of being hydrogen-rich, scientists have determined there was very little hydrogen. And the molecules that were produced were still far from assembling life. In fact, toxic molecules like cyanide formed.

Then there’s Darwin’s tree of life, which I just ran across a drawing of at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. But the fossil record, which Darwin knew didn’t exist “yet” when he drew the tree, never materialized. Instead the record shows a “Cambrian explosion” where lots of new and different forms of life appeared in a very short span of time, which is exactly the opposite of evolution!

Next he talked about Haeckel’s embryos, drawings that showed similarities between the embryos of different species. However, the drawings don’t match photographs. Haeckel purposely fudged the drawings to make them appear more similar than they really are. He was accused of fraud when he published in the 1860s, but science books today still contain this misinformation. He also selectively chose examples of species that happened to be more similar, while ignoring those that didn’t suit his agenda. And he omitted the early stages and starts at the midpoint, the time when the embryos of various species look most alike in the process called the “hourglass of development.”

And what about the prebiotic (primordial) soup? Sorry, no soup for you! There’s simply no evidence for the ancient chemical ocean that most origin-of-life theories presuppose. There was not enough nitrogen in the early atmosphere (0.015%) to compose the nitrogenous amino acids which are essential to life. And the earliest sediments on earth do not contain nitrogen-rich minerals. Even if such a soup did exist, there would have been serious problems with amino acids reacting with other chemical to produce substances that are threatening to life.

I found the kalam argument fascinating. It states: everything that begins to exist has a cause. The universe began to exist. Therefore, the universe has a cause. William Lane Craig’s arguments prove the first two statements true, so it follows that the conclusion is valid. First, he shows that, though the ancient Greeks believed in an eternal universe, science, math, and philosophy all show that the universe began at some point in time. No scientists really argue otherwise today. Craig even demonstrates that the universe requires a personal creator, because there are two explanations for every effect: the scientific/physical explanation, or the personal/volitional reason. He uses the examples of, “Why is that water boiling?” You can answer by explaining the physics of water molecules being heated to their boiling point, or you can explain that you wanted to make a cup of tea. But before the universe began to exist there were no physical laws, because there was nothing physical to be governed by them.

Strobel also covers the “anthropic fine-tuning” which refers to the incredibly precise values involved in the physics necessary for the universe to support life. One common example is earth’s distance from the sun. If we were further or closer, it would be too hot or cold for life, and there would be no water. If gravity were just a hair stronger, humans would be crushed. The cosmological constant—the energy density of empty space—is surprisingly small and inconceivably precise. And the difference in mass between neutrons and protons, if changed a tiny bit, would make nuclear fusion impossible for stars, and thus there would be no energy source for life. In summary, the size, location, gravity, composition, structure, atmosphere, temperature, internal dynamics, plate tectonics, and many other factors about Earth uniquely support life.

The sun uniquely supports life with its size, the colors it emits, its long life-span, and the stability of its light output, which only varies 0.1% in eleven years. Earth’s orbit is just right, and other planets and the moon shield us from asteroids and comets (consider the moon’s pocked surface).In addition to the unbelievable precision that makes life possible in the universe, many other factors suggest that the universe was “designed for discovery.” Apparently earth has a singularly good vantage point for seeing and studying the universe. The clarity of the atmosphere is rare, and earth has a rare view of eclipses. The book refers to the “convergence of habitability and measurability,” or the idea that it’s not only very unique and unlikely that Earth supports human life, but also that the universe and life are governed by such precise laws and principles which we have the capacity to discover.

Strobel interviewed Behe about irreducible complexity, and his argument that cell couldn’t have evolved to their current state because they can’t function with any less complexity held up under Strobel’s interrogation.

The Case for the Creator also contains the familiar vast mathematical improbability that random chemicals formed specific proteins that compose precise amino acids, which order themselves into long specific sequences to create DNA. And there’s much more to life than just DNA. It’s like throwing a bunch of Scrabble pieces down and hoping to write Hamlet—impossible.

The final chapter touches on the interesting topic of consciousness. We all sense that the brain and mind are not synonymous, that there is a part of us that is not determined purely by the physical. J.P. Moreland describes consciousness as sensations, thoughts, emotions, desires, beliefs, and free choices that make us alive and aware. If humans are only physical then consciousness doesn’t exist and there can be no first person point of view; there is no such thing as free will, and therefore no responsibility; and there is disembodied intermediate state, as described by people who had near-death and out-of-body experiences. Experiments have shown that there is no part of the brain where electrical stimulation will cause a patient to believe or to decide. Other studies have shown that the mind has a causal power independent of the brain’s activities. The private nature of introspection, REM and dreaming, and our experience of the soul also provide reason to believe in human consciousness.

Additional Information

In high school ministry we schedule at least one activity a week, but it’s hard to keep it up when most people are broke. So I came up with a list of inexpensive ministry activities (some of which could also serve as family, friend, or date activities). Some are free; others are cheap when everyone participates. These are not all my ideas, but ideas collected from people over the years. Have fun!

Lu’au: Make a playlist by borrowing Hawaii/tropical CDs from the library and/or downloading music. Ask people to dress in tropical/summer clothing. Have a hula hoop contest, a limbo contest, and search the Internet for other Hawaiian-themed games. Make desserts using pineapple and coconut. Ask people to pitch in for pineapple pizza ($5 for Pizza Hut’s Pizza Mia, plus 10% for your first on-line order).

Burning tongues party: Party like it’s Pentecost at this spicy-food themed party (invented by the Michalek home church). Ask everyone to bring a spicy dish, and have a few people bring something bland to cleanse the palate. It might be a good idea to have some Tums on hand as well. Make a playlist of songs that use the word “hot” (there’s more than enough of those).

Culinary contest: Ask everyone to bring their best gourmet creation. Provide plates, forks, and napkins and number the dishes. Have everyone sample the food and then vote on 1-3 favorites, then announce the winners. This activity allows for good conversation while people eat. It might be helpful to break dishes into categories like appetizers, entrees, and desserts. And you might judge on multiple aspects such as taste, presentation, originality, etc. if you want to get more involved.

Film festival: Ask individuals and/or cell groups to create a movie. Let people know far in advance, at least a month or two, so they can write, film, and edit their movie. People could dress up red carpet style. Serve popcorn and show each of the films. Allow the creators to introduce their movies. This could also be a contest if people voted on their favorite film. Or there could be an award given to each movie for a distinctive feature.

Dollar movie theater: Movies 10 in North Canton shows ten second-run films everyday for $1-2 dollars. These movies are shown right after they leave the main movie theaters so they’re not too out-dated. Also, the Linda Theater in Akron shows one second-run movie a week for $3. It’s neat because it’s at an old theater, but it isn’t in a great area. Both theaters have their showings listed on moviefone.com.

Bonfire: Bring some marshmallows and a camp chair and settle in for a good conversation around the fire. Initiate a discussion topic, such as one related to the CT or home church teaching.

Take a walk: This activity is better for smaller groups, families, or couples. When it’s nice out explore the neighborhood. It’s good exercise and a great chance to talk and enjoy nature.

Themed dance party: Choose a decade (70s, 80s) or a style (swing, salsa) and dress appropriately. Make a playlist and dance the night away!

Rock Star, Karaoke, or DDR: This of course is only cheap if someone already owns the games and system. Take turns watching and playing these interactive games.

Go to the park: Another small-group activity. Check out Google maps and find a park you’ve never been to, or visit an old favorite. If it’s not too far, take a walk to get there. Don’t forget a water bottle.

Make sundaes: Ask everyone to bring a different flavor of ice cream or type of topping, and have a couple people bring bowls and spoons. Assign a few people to serve the ice cream (and the toppings if there are kids). Then strike up a good convo while you eat.

Amazing Race: Create clues that will take different teams around town in search of their next clue. First to reach the final destination wins. Ask Ted Howell about the details because he knows how it’s done.

Scavenger Hunt: Create a list of odd objects to collect or pictures to take. Assign different point values based on difficulty. Break into teams and see who can gain the most points in a set period of time. Spending money (and stealing) are off-limits. Teams who arrive late either lose points or get disqualified. Joe Allie is the master of creating scavenger hunts.

Charades: You know how to play. But it’s extra fun when you play at a fast food restaurant.

Pictionary tournament: Get two whiteboards or chalkboards and break into two teams. If people are too loud, have the teams go one at a time and see if they can beat the timer, not the other player, for their point.

Board game night: Ask everyone to bring a board game and set up some card tables.

Cards: I don’t know how to play anything but War, Go Fish, and Speed, but other people do so get some Poker or Euchre or Blackjack going and have fun! With Chill we used to set up tables and do a casino night for the infamously unspendable “Chill Bucks.”

Road trip: Announce a road trip and travel to anywhere—it’s about the journey, not the destination. Head to a far-away restaurant or check out a meeting in Xenos Columbus.

Field Day Day: Remember field day at school? Plan various events like 50-yard dash, 100-yard dash, three-legged race, dizzy lizzy, tug-of-war, relays, etc.

Sports: Soccer, softball, volleyball, kickball, Frisbee soccer, or any other team torture (I mean sport) you can think up. But I think basketball and football are too rough for co-ed games.

Crafts: This is a girls’ small group or family activity. Make ornaments, gifts, jewelry, or a host of other items. Check the Internet for corny craft ideas.

White Elephant gift exchange: As Christmas approaches host a white elephant gift exchange. Everyone brings an object they already own but are willing to give away. Wrap the item up—the fancier, the better. Then have someone choose an item. The next person can choose the same item or a different one, and on until the last person has chosen their item. Then everyone opens them and laughs at the weird stuff people wrapped up. Play Christmas music and wear your Christmas sweater (see below).

Ugly Sweater Christmas party: (credit to Kay Homer) Everyone goes to the thrift store and buys a corny Christmas sweater and/or other Christmas apparel (earrings, turtlenecks, vests, etc.) and wears it to the party. Make a runway and have everyone model their sweater for a panel of judges. Award the winners with cheap candy canes.

Rockin’ on the River: Cover or tribute bands play downtown Cuyahoga Falls most Friday nights in the summer. Check the city calendar for these free concerts. Just beware of the concessions—that’s where they get you.

Local festivals: Look on-line for the dates of local festivals and go together as a group.

Talent Show: this is best for junior high group or younger. Hold a talent show where students can showcase their skills. Invite judges from other ministries and have them act like the American Idol judges, commenting on each act. Award everyone a prize.

$5 fashion show: Go to the thrift store or Gabriel Brother’s. Assign teams of five. Each person pitches in up to $5 to create a fashion-forward outfit. At a home where a “runway” has been prepared, each team chooses a model, dresses them, and does their hair and make-up. Put on some techno music and have the models walk for a panel of judges and audience. Give awards for the best outfit and best walk. Allow designers to explain their outfit before it goes on the runway.

Home coffee bar: For groups where hy[eractivity isn’t a problem, make some strong coffee, steam some milk, and use syrups and whipped cream to create your own mochas and lattes. Or get a blender and make frappaccinos in the summer. Check the Internet for recipes. Another great activity for good conversation.

Hiking: Check out the Cuyahoga Valley National Park and go on a group hike. Consider packing a picnic.

Swimming: Find a friend with a pool or a local lake (Munroe Falls is $4) and have fun in the sun.

Spa night/makeovers: With a girls small group, paint each others’ nails, give massages, do makeovers, and find recipes for face masks or foot baths.

Weight lifting: With a guys’ small group, get some barbells and find some space to lift and do push-ups, sit-ups, and whatever guys do to try to get buff.

Go to Walmart: and be goofy (but not obnoxious). Challenge people to find the cheapest item. Try on a ridiculous outfit. Buy a Slurpie. Look at the fish. Play with the toys. Do a cartwheel. Marvel at the diversity created by American capitalist consumerism.

Bollywood night: With a girls’ small group, rent some Bollywood videos, buy some chutney (or popcorn), and enjoy the corniness and colors of India drama, song, and dance.

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